Hello.
If you're reading this, you probably know me and I don't need to introduce myself. This is my blog that I'm starting to talk about my own personal struggles with fibromyalgia (FMS for short), and hopefully turn this into a conversation about what it means, on an existential level, to have a chronic illness, or more generally, how pain and illness can transform our lives.
First of all, what is fibromyalgia? It is a chronic pain condition, closely related to chronic fatigue syndrome, that is really not understood at all in the medical field, although many think that it falls under the category of "autoimmune." The main symptoms include pain that can occur anywhere in your body (it started in my feet, but now it's mainly in my shoulders and arms), sleep disturbances, fatigue, spaciness/fogginess, depression and anxiety. Many FMS sufferers also have migraines, digestive troubles, numbness and dizziness, but I don't really those problems (except for occasional dizziness). The only way to diagnose it is to test for "tender points": 18 or so points on your body that, if you have FMS, will really hurt if someone pokes you there. There are many theories out there about what causes it and what treats it, but they're all incredibly different. A good site to go to for more information is http://www.fibromyalgia-symptoms.org , that's my favorite FMS site these days.
Different people have found different things that help them, but the options are so various that it's hard to know what combination of things will help any one particular person. What I've basically decided is that the best way to deal with the symptoms is to become as healthy as possible: get 8 hours of sleep a night, exercise every day, eat vegetables, don't smoke, etc. i.e. All the things you know you're supposed to do but probably don't. This blog is, in part, a record of my efforts, as a 20-something person who likes to have fun, to try and be an actual healthy person without feeling like I'm missing out on young person fun. It's harder than you think, folks. But this blog will also be about other things that I currently do for FMS, such as acupuncture and Feldenkrais (two amazing and underutilized therapies), and things I plan on doing such as trying out various diets. Some FMS patients report their symptoms clear up if they eliminate common food allergens such as wheat or dairy, or cut out caffeine or sugar. In the following months I'm going to try out various FMS-friendly diets, let you know how they go, and if I come across anything surprisingly delicious, I might go all food blog on you and post a recipe I made up (I've been cooking some pretty good sh*t lately, if you don't mind my saying). That could be fun.
Basically, FMS is a total bummer, and I want this blog to be a source of hope, for myself, for my friends and family, and for other fellow sufferers. I've been going to some message boards lately for FMS, and looked at other blogs that chronicle life with FMS, and they've all been heartbreaking and depressing. This illness can get really serious, and can destroy relationships and make it impossible to hold down a job. I really don't want this to happen, as I love my husband and my friends and family, and I am training for an extremely rewarding (and demanding) career in academia. Hopefully talking about my problems in a constructive way, and maybe helping other FMS sufferers in some way or another, will get me through to the other side, whatever that may be.
This isn't just a personal issue for me, it's philosophical. Right now I'm about to start on a research project on the philosophy of pain and suffering, focusing specifically on the writings of Josiah Royce, Paul Ricoeur, and Elaine Scarry. Scarry has a book titled The Body in Pain: The Making and Unmaking of the World, and the title sums up this puzzle that I'm trying to work out. Pain "unmakes" our world, when we are in pain or are ill or are disabled, our language is less available to us, we feel isolated from others (others may sympathize with our pain, but they can't actually share it, pain is profoundly private), our physical power in the world is diminished, we literally have less of a world. However, at the same time, Scarry notes that pain motivates us to "make" our world. She has a brilliant account of the sentient body and the role it plays in the exposition of divine law in the Bible, as well as the development of Marx's economic theory in Capital. The experience of pain motivates us to create, to organize and reach out to others, and allows us to appreciate wisdom that far exceeds ourselves. Anyone who has experienced a personal setback or profound loss or tragedy knows that suffering can be transformative. I feel like my experience with FMS has been transformative in this way, but I don't quite yet understand how or why. In my research paper (the "history paper" requirement, for those UO philosophers out there), I'm trying to figure out on a philosophical level what's going on with pain and suffering, but on this blog, I'm trying to figure it out on a personal level. Surely, however, the two will overlap, and you might have to deal with some theory. Sorry, I'm a philosopher. The title of this blog "Remaking the World," is an allusion to Scarry. Instead of focusing on how FMS has "unmade" certain aspects of my life, I want to see it as "remaking" my life, hopefully, eventually, for the better.
I might also talk about things that have nothing to do with FMS, things that are important, or interesting or cool. Things like LOST, health care reform, a new cheese I discovered (did I tell you I love the crap out of cheese? I'm expecting my dairy free diet trial run to fail), the nature/culture distinction, and stuff like that. Just because I don't want FMS to take over my whole life!
Thanks for reading, and stay tuned for more! Leave suggestions for types of posts you want to see in the comments!
If you're reading this, you probably know me and I don't need to introduce myself. This is my blog that I'm starting to talk about my own personal struggles with fibromyalgia (FMS for short), and hopefully turn this into a conversation about what it means, on an existential level, to have a chronic illness, or more generally, how pain and illness can transform our lives.
First of all, what is fibromyalgia? It is a chronic pain condition, closely related to chronic fatigue syndrome, that is really not understood at all in the medical field, although many think that it falls under the category of "autoimmune." The main symptoms include pain that can occur anywhere in your body (it started in my feet, but now it's mainly in my shoulders and arms), sleep disturbances, fatigue, spaciness/fogginess, depression and anxiety. Many FMS sufferers also have migraines, digestive troubles, numbness and dizziness, but I don't really those problems (except for occasional dizziness). The only way to diagnose it is to test for "tender points": 18 or so points on your body that, if you have FMS, will really hurt if someone pokes you there. There are many theories out there about what causes it and what treats it, but they're all incredibly different. A good site to go to for more information is http://www.fibromyalgia-symptoms.org , that's my favorite FMS site these days.
Different people have found different things that help them, but the options are so various that it's hard to know what combination of things will help any one particular person. What I've basically decided is that the best way to deal with the symptoms is to become as healthy as possible: get 8 hours of sleep a night, exercise every day, eat vegetables, don't smoke, etc. i.e. All the things you know you're supposed to do but probably don't. This blog is, in part, a record of my efforts, as a 20-something person who likes to have fun, to try and be an actual healthy person without feeling like I'm missing out on young person fun. It's harder than you think, folks. But this blog will also be about other things that I currently do for FMS, such as acupuncture and Feldenkrais (two amazing and underutilized therapies), and things I plan on doing such as trying out various diets. Some FMS patients report their symptoms clear up if they eliminate common food allergens such as wheat or dairy, or cut out caffeine or sugar. In the following months I'm going to try out various FMS-friendly diets, let you know how they go, and if I come across anything surprisingly delicious, I might go all food blog on you and post a recipe I made up (I've been cooking some pretty good sh*t lately, if you don't mind my saying). That could be fun.
Basically, FMS is a total bummer, and I want this blog to be a source of hope, for myself, for my friends and family, and for other fellow sufferers. I've been going to some message boards lately for FMS, and looked at other blogs that chronicle life with FMS, and they've all been heartbreaking and depressing. This illness can get really serious, and can destroy relationships and make it impossible to hold down a job. I really don't want this to happen, as I love my husband and my friends and family, and I am training for an extremely rewarding (and demanding) career in academia. Hopefully talking about my problems in a constructive way, and maybe helping other FMS sufferers in some way or another, will get me through to the other side, whatever that may be.
This isn't just a personal issue for me, it's philosophical. Right now I'm about to start on a research project on the philosophy of pain and suffering, focusing specifically on the writings of Josiah Royce, Paul Ricoeur, and Elaine Scarry. Scarry has a book titled The Body in Pain: The Making and Unmaking of the World, and the title sums up this puzzle that I'm trying to work out. Pain "unmakes" our world, when we are in pain or are ill or are disabled, our language is less available to us, we feel isolated from others (others may sympathize with our pain, but they can't actually share it, pain is profoundly private), our physical power in the world is diminished, we literally have less of a world. However, at the same time, Scarry notes that pain motivates us to "make" our world. She has a brilliant account of the sentient body and the role it plays in the exposition of divine law in the Bible, as well as the development of Marx's economic theory in Capital. The experience of pain motivates us to create, to organize and reach out to others, and allows us to appreciate wisdom that far exceeds ourselves. Anyone who has experienced a personal setback or profound loss or tragedy knows that suffering can be transformative. I feel like my experience with FMS has been transformative in this way, but I don't quite yet understand how or why. In my research paper (the "history paper" requirement, for those UO philosophers out there), I'm trying to figure out on a philosophical level what's going on with pain and suffering, but on this blog, I'm trying to figure it out on a personal level. Surely, however, the two will overlap, and you might have to deal with some theory. Sorry, I'm a philosopher. The title of this blog "Remaking the World," is an allusion to Scarry. Instead of focusing on how FMS has "unmade" certain aspects of my life, I want to see it as "remaking" my life, hopefully, eventually, for the better.
I might also talk about things that have nothing to do with FMS, things that are important, or interesting or cool. Things like LOST, health care reform, a new cheese I discovered (did I tell you I love the crap out of cheese? I'm expecting my dairy free diet trial run to fail), the nature/culture distinction, and stuff like that. Just because I don't want FMS to take over my whole life!
Thanks for reading, and stay tuned for more! Leave suggestions for types of posts you want to see in the comments!
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